From Thinking, Through Commuting to Fearlessly Sending
I am far from being a morning person and tend to overthink decisions. Sitting on long-distance buses wasn’t my cup of tea either – for a long time. Anyhow, these were the circumstances, and I got fed up with myself that I couldn’t figure out a way to be happy about it. So, I figured out my solution.
Slowing down commutes
I used to commute to the office once a week. The trip took approximately 75 minutes door to door, utilizing a long-distance bus route and two metro lines. Received a lot of eyerolls when I mentioned that I didn’t drive, even though the distance was 35 km. I always replied that commuting this way allows me to think more deeply as I could listen to a podcast and stare out of the window without the responsibility of driving. Also, I dislike morning traffic jams, so I really had one path to move forward, to take the scenic route. I made one strict rule though, not to look at my phone during the 45-minute bus ride.
Surprisingly, this habit became an experience I was actually looking for even though the bus left my station at 6:15 in the morning. It was peaceful and relatively quiet compared to how a home with a happy and lively child can be.
So, I started to get the best out of my “private” 75 minutes by listening to people I didn’t even hear about before who had way more experience than most of the people I know. Of course I’m referring to the DOAC podcast. I wasn’t cherry picking; I went through all of them in order of release. On a commuting day I could complete 2 episodes. This whole practice was incredibly powerful to me as it achieved so much at once. Highlighting concepts that were inspiring, for example. I really wanted to reverse the episode in which I heard this conversation, but I couldn’t find it. I would appreciate it if you could let me know the exact one so I could listen to it again, if you remember which one it was. Back to the topic.
Overcoming Overthinking
One such idea was “hitting send” without overthinking. Pretty straightforward yet still tricky sometimes. How well do you know the feeling of when you hesitate to send a message that’s important? Either because of the included information or the recipient(s). To me, that’s usually the latter. I can overthink how my message could be interpreted and thus I become unwilling to let my message go. Sometimes I become even fearful. Despite that I had put real effort into the quality of my work and triple checked everything. Totally counterproductive habit, second guessing that is. Even so, it’s part of how I operate, and it shows that I care about those messages and their perceptions. This is why “hitting send” moved something in me. I started to accept that it is usually better to get over it. Face the perception and then deal with it, with the real one. Not with the one that’s inside my head, that solves nothing. Then I started practicing by catching instances when I activated my hesitant mode, and I stopped completely, to understand why I was doing it at that moment. I accepted that I felt anxious. Then I asked myself: what’s the worst-case scenario if I made a mistake? What’s the worst case if I don’t send it? If the former weighed heavier, then I hit send immediately. The best thing? I cut a pretty big chunk of “unproductive” time by not dwelling on potential reactions. It’s usually a big relief as well every time the message is finally on its way.
Progress Over Perfection
As you can guess it’s not yet automatic, I can second guess myself still. However, I’m becoming increasingly efficient with it, keeping it under check. That’s what matters to me, progression. I don’t want to achieve 100% with everything before I let it go. I just do it when I reach a good enough level. Agile principles helped me to reach this conclusion. I believe in the value of an agile mindset, especially because of this realization. It’s better to send and deal with potential mistakes than not sending at all.
That’s my suggestion: evaluate what could happen in the real world and observe that outcome. Think about the effort you’ve already put into it. If you feel truly proud already and still feel anxious, then send it anyway. It probably means that you care too.
