Roots Taught Me to Let Go Trustfully
This post is about:
A gentle reminder that holding firmly what you love won’t allow them to grow. I found a beautiful comparison between permaculture and how my wife and I let our marriage breathe.
Before we jump in, this is the sister post of No One Born Ready: Underappreciated Virtues of Motherhood.
Standing at the door last weekend, my wife and I said goodbye for three days.
It may sound simple but for the first few years of our relationship it was challenging for us. We had to learn the act of letting each other go, because we spent almost one year in a distant relationship which forced us to say goodbyes every weekend. We had to work at building trust, until moments at the door became quiet and peaceful.
I was heading to a permaculture event to spend three days completely offline, reconnecting with nature, without any agenda tied to my business. No growth strategies or planning. Just soil and silence – well kind of, because a forest in spring is anything but silent.
After three days, I remembered that letting go does not equal giving up. It is the most deliberate act of trust you can choose.
You can’t control soil
Permaculture is the practice of letting nature unbothered rather than micromanaging it like your previous line manager. You observe your environment and make the specifically right decisions for that given space. Every garden is different; there are no universal solutions.
Then you step back, because the ecosystem already knows what to do. Intervention, beyond a certain point, becomes interference. Just think about unbothered forests and how they thrive without nosey humans.
A healthy microclimate does not need your control, only your trust.
I lived there for three days where plants were thriving without anyone hovering over them. Nothing was considered a waste, and every living being was in a relationship with the environment around it.
And I thought about my freelance coaching business.
I have spent months building my unique system to become globally visible. The perfectionist in me silently believes if I stop pushing, everything stalls, but that is a residual fear wearing the costume of productivity.
A business built on solid foundations does not need you to hold it up every day. It needs you to trust what you built and only step in with agility when a part needs refinement.
Stepping away for three days gave me breathing room to see more calmly what those parts are.
Learn to let go
My wife and I have been together for ten years, and five of them have been married. One of the habits we have built deliberately is letting each other go for stretches of time. It all started with a retreat I attended, then she found her space to breathe and reconnect with herself calmly.
There is real inner work involved in releasing someone you love, even temporarily, without anxiety filling the gap.
We discovered that connection deepens when it is not constant. The reunion carries the value of reconnecting to each other, and uninterrupted togetherness simply cannot allow that.
You cannot hold what you love too tightly and expect it to grow, which applies to marriage, or a true business.
A question to practice with
Burnout rarely announces itself; instead, it builds quietly in the shadows while you keep pushing, because stepping back feels unimaginable. Keep an eye out for that relentless feeling of never being enough.
I brought you a question this time to think about.
What are you holding too tight right now? Think about something where you feel the squeeze is slowly becoming a burden. A burden that makes you feel dreaded in the morning.
Is it a process that could run without your constant oversight? A relationship that would breathe better with a little space? A part of your day that deserves stillness instead of strategy?
Letting go trustfully is a faith of leap to make an active choice, practiced repeatedly, until it becomes that quiet, peaceful moment at the door.
It’s perfectly okay to ask for support. You don’t have to figure everything out on your own. While I believe everyone is their own best expert, I’m also a big believer in asking for help to create change together. It’s comforting to have someone by our side as we go through transitions. If you’re feeling motivated to expand your comfort zone and curious about how I can support you on your journey, let’s talk.
Becoming a parent doesn't replace who you were — it just moves everything else over to make room. Online parenting coaching is where you find out what still fits.
